I remember hearing my ex tell me that she wanted a divorce like it was yesterday. Those simple words came at me like a heavy weight boxer's blow to my gut. I was speechless, hurt, confused, upset, and eventually embarrassed. The person who I loved and shared my life of 8 years with, who gave me two beautiful girls decided that she had enough and wanted out.
I had this idea that if I yelled or threw something, that she would realize how crazy this was and change her mind. But she didn't. She instead was distant and cold to me. She almost immediately changed from being my wife to a roommate. Except that we had kids and her parents living with us as well.
Needless to say my idea didn't go over too well. She used my words and actions as reasoning why she should leave. The more I tried to talk to her, the further away she became. Which caused me to go through an emotional roller coaster. One day I was angry at her for doing this, another I was sad that she was leaving followed up by the sting of embarrassment that this has caused. Each day was a different reaction, and I had no control of it. I was a mess.
Then I came across a book at Barnes and Nobles called The Love Dare. This book changed my outlook on this divorce and helped me regain control of my emotions. I highly recommend this book for anyone who is struggling with their marriage. While my marriage was not saved, I learned how to appreciate the little things again, which helped me gain control of my life again.