What would I change?...

I often thought that if i could go back and change my past I would in a heart beat. But after watching this, I realize now that my past, while as crazy as it was, has brought me to where I am now. I am happy now, and while I did take a lot of help to get there....I don't think I would change that. I have a learned a lot about pain, and forgiveness....things that I wouldn't have been able to grasp from a book or by listening to a friend. These lessons were hard, honest and meaningful.

Take a moment and watch this video, and then ask yourself if you would change anything in your life as well. You might also surprise yourself too.

The Love Dare....

I remember hearing my ex tell me that she wanted a divorce like it was yesterday. Those simple words came at me like a heavy weight boxer's blow to my gut. I was speechless, hurt, confused, upset, and eventually embarrassed. The person who I loved and shared my life of 8 years with, who gave me two beautiful girls decided that she had enough and wanted out.

I had this idea that if I yelled or threw something, that she would realize how crazy this was and change her mind. But she didn't. She instead was distant and cold to me. She almost immediately changed from being my wife to a roommate. Except that we had kids and her parents living with us as well.

Needless to say my idea didn't go over too well. She used my words and actions as reasoning why she should leave. The more I tried to talk to her, the further away she became. Which caused me to go through an emotional roller coaster. One day I was angry at her for doing this, another I was sad that she was leaving followed up by the sting of embarrassment that this has caused. Each day was a different reaction, and I had no control of it. I was a mess.

Then I came across a book at Barnes and Nobles called The Love Dare. This book changed my outlook on this divorce and helped me regain control of my emotions. I highly recommend this book for anyone who is struggling with their marriage. While my marriage was not saved, I learned how to appreciate the little things again, which helped me gain control of my life again. 

Welcome to my crazy life....

When I was married, as much as I hate to admit it, life was a bit easier. There was a partner there who I could rely on to help out with the kids. Someone who I could trust, that will be there for them and make sure that their needs are met. Now that she's gone, well life has been a bit of an adventure.
I realize a few things now that have made me become a better person (mind you that's very subjective). One, to never take love for granted. When you love someone they are truly a gift in your life. They fill you with what you want, and in turn you try to do the same to them. My love for my ex quickly faded and we got into our routines. We were so focused on other things that we forgot about the most important part of the family.....us. I know now that real love is about being understanding, and patient with one another. To be supportive and nurturing when needed. I took her love for granted and in return, she did the same to me.
Which brings me back to where I'm at now.....divorced father of two little girls. I'm writing this blog to share my struggles and achievements so that other divorced fathers can have something to relate to.  Maybe I can make someone smile who would otherwise be crying. So join me on this crazy ride called life.....I promise to be real and honest and I hope you will do the same for me.